We started reading through the binder from the parenting class and the first little article showed how one encounter with your child can go either really well or really horrible, depending on how you decide to parent. In the scenario that ends badly with the child being hurt and disappointed, the mum was too obsessed with being perfect. She baked her cake while her daughter was sleeping so that it would be perfect, didn't let her pick the flowers from the garden, but only from the field, and she didn't let her child put her flower into the bouquet that she was arranging because it was going to ruin it. In the second scenario, they baked the cake together, she let her pick flowers from their garden, and she let her put in her flower even if it didn't fit, because the little girl was so excited to contribute.
It was good for me to read, because today, I was trying to be the perfectionist mum. Sophie had a weird day where she didn't really take her morning nap. She fell asleep for about five minutes and then was wide awake! And boy, did it stress me out. I was worried about the rest of the day and how her next nap would go, and how her schedule would be all off and how she'd get overtired and it might be hard for her to go down at night. She's also teething so I worried that no nap would just make it all worse too (It turned out she had a bit of plastic from a Kleenex tissue packet stuck in her mouth for an hour and a half which is why she didn't nap and didn't take her paci among other things. We just were so grateful that nothing worse happened because of the plastic.)
Somewhere along the day, I just relaxed. I was able to realise that all this stress is silly and pointless and she's going to be fine. And sure enough, everything was fine. She ate well and then went down great for her afternoon nap, and went down great for bedtime too. She was still moderately fussy due to the teething, but it really wasn't that bad.
Reading that article made me realise again that I just need to calm down about things. Especially when it comes to Sophie. I don't want to be the mum that squashes my child's enthusiasm to help with a bouquet or a cake or anything I'm doing. I don't want to squelch her happy spirit with my stresses. Perfectionism is definitely over-rated. I just need to remind myself of this every day and hope to be able to let lots of things go on this great journey of parenthood.
And because I just must post pix every time, here are some of me and my darling baby girl, Sophie:
Marie I like the remark "perfectionism is definitely over rated". No better place to find that out than when you are raising a child. No more difficult place to learn to stop comparing ourselves to others who must be "perfect" only to come up with the idea that I am not, so I draw the conclusion I am less as a person...And just when I think I have the parenting formula down, my child just will not cooperate! They will insist on being their own triangle shaped peg not fitting perfectly into my flower designed hole. Which means while certain values should remain fixed, how much of what I do as a parent is because I want it to reflect well on me and my reputation and how much might actually be my training my child in the way he or she is destined to go. Helping to discover who God had in mind when He created them. Ok this became a bit long...You are right Marie you can relax and enjoy being a mother. God had YOU in mind for Sophie.
ReplyDeletewow! these pictures are sooo damn awesome! keep up the good work!
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